Victim or survivor
I frequently work with clients regarding the victim mindset and survivor mindset. Please understand that at no point am I saying that one is better or worse than the other. However, there is a mindset to all of it.
In my perspective, note that I indicated that this is MY perspective, there is a stark difference between being a victim and being a survivor. And many that have experienced severe negative things in their life may shift frequently between the victim and survivor mindset. That is perfectly fine if it works for you. However, it can become exhausting.
Victims and survivors both experience pain and suffering the same, but how they internalize it is what makes them different.
When I talk to “victims”, they typically look at things from a perspective of lack. This means that they look at what was taken away from them and how that makes them “less than” someone or something else in their world.
When I talk to “survivors”, they typically look at things from a perspective of strength. This means that they look at the coping skills, strategies, “red flags” that they learned from the experience.
While both incorporate their experience into their lives, the perspective is different. Let’s say that two people endure bullying in junior high school. On the one hand, the victim may internalize this as the definition of why they are not worthy of achieving their dreams or being in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, the survivor may internalize this as the definition of their strength and how they have overcome so much already. So, of course they can do anything that they set their minds to accomplish. Both had the same experience, both had the internalized messages, both dealt with fear, but both did not necessarily grow from the experience. The victim may become afraid while the survivor may become empowered. This has more to do with mindset than anything else.
If you feel that you are a victim, but want to move your perspective into that of a survivor, please feel free to reach out to learn more about how to shift those thoughts and perspectives.
